sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
