its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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