You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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