Sry I called you an 8
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
