thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
