In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize