No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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