well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
