Porn is love you can see.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
