I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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