I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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