CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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