Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
