I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
