Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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