I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This baby is an asshole
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
