so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
4 words: hood of his car
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
