i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
