Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize