I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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