The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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