it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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