Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
