Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
