Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize