did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize