Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize