It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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