1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How's work?
Spinning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
