evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
