Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have surprise drugs for everyone
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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