well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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