dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
