she woke up with a sticky ear
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
