After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
