i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
