my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
