sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
