Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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