I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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