Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
