Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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