Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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