why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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