so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
