He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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