Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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