I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
