you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
