i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
