There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
