Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
