Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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