Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
