Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
