My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
