I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize