I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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