Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
