I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so let's talk penis.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
