it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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