I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
