omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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