who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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