Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
