New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize