At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize